some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
