I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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