How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
