I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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