I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
