i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
