That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
