when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
she told me i tasted like america
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
