belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
