So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
