The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Randomize
