Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
