Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
