You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
