I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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