Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
