i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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