remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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