I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
