Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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