Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
When did angry sex become our thing?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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