the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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