He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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