Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
