Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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