I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
