we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
