At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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