This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
