oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I think people are normalizing furries
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
