So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
