I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
