i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
