if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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