I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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