Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
