Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
