I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
