Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
