seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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