I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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