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After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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