How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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