The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
