Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
