Small penises have feelings too.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
