It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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