we need to drink 2009 down the drain
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
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