Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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