woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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