mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
