Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
