I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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